My husband hates his father and step-mother!

Dear Hillie:

My husband hates his father and step-mother but isn’t brave enough to tell them not to come and visit us. They live abroad and when they visit, they stay for two weeks at a time. During their visit my husband is rude to them and short tempered with me and the children. I have to do all the running around for them and he does nothing. It’s intolerable and although I wish they wouldn’t stay I realise they need to see their grand children. They know he hates their visits and they wind him up while they’re here! What’s the solution?

Hillie says:

The next time they wish to stay with you, tactfully tell them it would be better for all of you if they stay at a local hotel or guest house – if they can’t afford it your husband should contribute towards the cost if only for the peace of mind it will afford him. If they can visit for set periods of time maybe your husband can grow up and be pleasant to them for your sake as well as the children’s. They could take their grand children out for treats by themselves and sometimes your husband could be out at a business meeting when they visit. It’s tough on all of you but they deserve to see their grand children and it would be churlish to deny them this pleasure.