How do I attract men like I used to?

Dear Hillie:

I am recently single – fresh from a 5 year relationship – and I have totally forgotten how to flirt. When I was with my man, I felt like I was super-hot and just assumed that everyone would like me if it weren’t for my boyfriend. However now I’m back on the game, no one pays me any attention like I thought they would. I seem to have lost the ability to make myself look available. How do I attract men again, like I used to?

Hillie says:A good-looking and attached woman in a steady relationship is an attractive prospect for certain men. They feel safe in the knowledge that there is no danger of commitment. The woman in turn feels confident and secure enough to flirt back. It’s all a game! However sometimes the flirting seems real and that’s when many a relationship gets rocky.
Now you are single you don’t have the security of a relationship base and you’ve temporarily lost your confidence. Here are a few ways to help you regain it:

Improve your feelings of self-worth
Make a list of all your attributes and achievements; believe in yourself and give yourself some mental praise. Always remember that you determine your own worth and that your worth has absolutely nothing to do with your actions or the way you feel about things. Sometimes you won’t like the way you behaved but this has nothing to do with your worth. Learn from your mistakes and determine to do better next time.
Realise that you are not unique – others are nervous as well
We all get nervous in varying situations, and if you can concentrate on putting others at their ease instead of concentrating on your own unease, they will respond well to you and you will begin to feel more confident.
Don’t be fearful of what others may think of you
Have the courage of your convictions to do what you feel is right for you, providing you don’t hurt anyone else in doing so. It doesn’t matter what others think of you – we can’t be everyone’s favourite person. Face the fact that not everyone in this life is going to like you or your actions, so you might as well go with your own insticts and get on with what you want to do.
Never put yourself down
Putting yourself down through your conversation or actions does nothing to enhance your image. If you concentrate on the best in you, not only will this give you more self confidence, but it will instil a sense of well-being in whoever you are with at the time.
Learn to receive compliments
Try to develop the habit of accepting compliments with good grace and a thank you. Never ignore kind words; accept what they say and give your self esteem a boost.
Fake confidence
One way I have found to help my self confidence is to fake it. Many people when they gain success or fame begin to feel less confident in themselves as they wonder how they can keep up with their public image. However, because they become so adept at faking confidence, the likes of you and I would never guess their insecurities. I’m sure that after a few months of acting out a self confident you, you will find that you have even convinced yourself!
Understand that the world is your mirror
When you are smiling and feeling great the whole world seems to smile with you and life takes on a completely different hue. The world is like a mirror and reflects the way we think about ourselves. When you don’t like yourself you will tend to find fault in others and they in turn may begin to dislike you. When you like yourself, you will tend to treat others in a fair understanding and pleasant way which they will appreciate. Once you feel confident in yourself others will feel confident with you.

If you resolve to be happy and think happy and positive thoughts, you will portray a happy, ‘together’ personality and you will be amazed how much men will be attracted to you.