Serial Complainers

I would describe such individuals as people who whinge about anyone and everything and seldom have anything good to say. Instead of being optimistic and open minded they adopt a mind-set that’s the complete opposite, finding fault in whatever they can. They are forever pointing the finger at someone and blaming them in effect for the misery in their own lives. They constantly seek the worst in situations and probably feel exultant in themselves when they succeed. Maybe it gives them a feeling of self importance in front of others when they try to put people down. They have a limited and narrow minded approach to life and are permanently dissatisfied

When I’m not feeling annoyed and aggravated by these people I feel sad for them. I see the joy they are missing in life by always seeing the cup half empty instead of half full. If only they could realise that their behaviour in the end will alienate those around them and they will land up being sad and lonely. We all would rather surround ourselves with positive, happy people who lift our mood and make us feel good about ourselves and life in general.

How to deal with them?

Drop your shoulders, try to stay calm and ask yourself what has happened in this person’s life to make them the way they are. Hopefully this will focus your attention on them and shield your internal emotions. If you have done nothing wrong, understand that you are not the problem it’s the complainer who has and is the problem

Try to comprehend that serial complainers complained before they met you and will probably go on complaining long after you cease to have dealings with them.

Try to keep a neutral expression on your face and imagine an invisible wall around you making the complaining words bounce off. ‘Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never harm you

Ask the moaner to put their complaints in writing to you, preferably in an email. When you receive their correspondence quickly write back to say you will study their complaints in detail and reply in full in a few days. This will give you time to calm down and be objective about what is written. Very often you will find they have shot them selves in the foot and given you the right ammunition to fire back.

Many complainers have low self esteem. They imagine that pointing out the faults and dishing out the bad gossip makes them more interesting to others and gives them a feeling of confidence and self importance. When the complainant is a family member or work colleague we tend to spend time offering them advice and try to make them see the other side of a situation. Nevertheless, in my experience, however hard you may try you cannot change anyone. In fact the harder you try the more they’ll probably dig their heels in and become more frustrating to everyone around them than before! They may even come to resent you and your motives. Remember you can’t change others, only they can change themselves. Accept them for what they are.

Sometimes just listening intently to the complainant until they have run out of things to say will defuse the situation. Try to show you care because maybe that’s all they want in the end. To know that somebody cares!

Always try to be a good role model; optimistic, positive, always try to see the best in any situation and who know some of it could rub off onto the whingers of this world.