Rejection is probably one of most of our greatest fears. Being rejected can make us lose confidence, feel insecure, worthless and unwanted and it’s hurtful. However, rejection is a fact of life; it is how you cope with it that is important. One friend of mine still shudders when he remembers an evening at his local nightclub. He saw a girl he thought was gorgeous, plucked up his courage and squeezed past a line of her girlfriends all sitting close together, to ask her for a dance. He asked her and she said ‘No!’ and turned away. He then had to turn round and squeeze past all her girlfriends who were by now all looking at him with curiosity and suspicion, and he retreated to the bar. He felt humiliated, rejected and wanted to leave, but I gather he stayed and after a few pints felt better.

What he now realises is that there could have been a number of reasons why this girl turned him down. She might have been expecting a jealous boyfriend to arrive any minute; she could have been married; maybe she felt ill; maybe it was the wrong time of the month; maybe she’d broken the heel of one of her shoes; or maybe she was just unpleasant and bad mannered and therefore he was better off without her! 

However much we want someone we find attractive to like us, it isn’t always possible because we all have different tastes and cannot be expected to fancy the world in general. If you are rejected try not to view it as a personal insult, just bear in mind that the real reason probably has nothing to do with you at all. Mentally shrug your shoulders and move on.  

Some tips for dealing with rejection:

  1. Accept that rejection can happen to anyone, not just you so try not to take it as a personal insult.
  2. Don’t bottle up your feelings. Let them out and talk about it with your friends. People on the whole like to help and be the listening ear when their friend’s in need.
  3. Think positively. If one door has just slammed in your face, chances are a new one will open soon which could be much better. More often than not, if you are rejected by someone you fancy then you are better off without them. You will get other chances to meet someone else who really wants you, warts and all.
  4. Once the initial shock has worn off try to keep a cool head and weigh up your options. Take time in deciding what to do next especially if you have been rejected from a job.
  5. Keep yourself busy. Find a new hobby, sport or activity which will take your mind off your rejection. Once you feel busy and happy again the hurt will soon fade.
  6. Many people are conditioned to try to please others all the time. If you learn to say ‘no’ to people instead of saying or doing what you feel they want you to, you will start to respect your own feelings and this will boost your self confidence. In the end you may begin to understand why on occasions people say no to you too.
  7. Try to keep a sense of humour because one day when you look back, you will probably cringe with horror when you try to imagine yourself with those who rejected you. You will realise that everything happens for a purpose and they would not have been right for you. 

Although none of us like being rejected, rejection does serve a purpose. It generally makes us reflect and learn more about ourselves. In the end it strengthens our purpose and helps us to move on to better things.