Trust is a very special component of any relationship and once it is broken it is exceedingly difficult to regain if not impossible in many cases. Trust is often taken for granted when it comes to relationships; staying faithful to one another; being there for each other no matter what may happen, so that when trust is broken it can be devastating.

It is difficult to have a loving and fulfilling relationship unless there is a deep, underlying friendship between partners. Good friends like and trust each other, treat one another in a courteous way and respect the other’s feelings. They respect each other’s individuality and give them space but do not take liberties. Friends try to make the other person feel happy and good about themselves and will avoid undermining the other’s confidence with unhealthy criticisms. Friends are a united team who will stand by the other and not betray their feelings.

You should give your partner the benefit of your trust from the very beginning of your relationship. They are less likely to betray your trust if you are not fearful of them doing so.

Sometimes when we are in love with someone, we get so fearful of losing them because of bad past experiences; we unwittingly sabotage our own relationship in varying ways. We may always look for negative signs that things are going wrong with the relationship rather than dwelling on the positive aspects. This may well depress the easiest going of partners until they just see the negative and the relationship falls apart. When the relationship eventually goes wrong we feel we have been proved right, because we knew deep down it was too good to last. The stupid thing is that if we had not been fearful and panicked, the outcome would have probably been the opposite. So try to let go of the past and allow yourself to move on from old hurts. If you begin to feel uneasy about your partner’s actions or lifestyle then ask them questions about what appears to be happening in an open way. Chances are there is a very simple explanation and your partner will appreciate your brave honesty in voicing your fears. In turn you must carefully, keep an open mind and allow yourself to understand what is going on.

I strongly feel that we all have a duty to our loved ones to be open and honest in our relationship and should try not to give them any reason to feel uncomfortable or to induce jealous feelings.

On the other hand there will always be the dishonest heartless egocentrics who don’t think beyond their own self gratification. They will find every reason or excuse to persuade you that your suspicions are all in your mind and that they are utterly innocent. Some are such good con artists that in the end you can feel you are losing your marbles! However when they are well and truly found out in their lies they invariably play the victim if you don’t forgive them straight away. They play on your vulnerabilities and try to make you believe that if you had behaved differently they would have never gone astray! It’s an old trick that unfortunately causes a lot of people to give cheats a second, third or more chance until the injured party finally sees the light or the cheat leaves for someone else.

When someone cheats on you it is a violation of your trust and shows complete disrespect for you. If you find yourself in this situation you may ask friends and family for advice and hopefully you will be given unbiased opinions – but you can never be sure. The only person you can really ever trust is yourself. We all have gut instincts; that little nagging feeling in your mind which tells you that you feel uneasy and unhappy about a situation. You also have your fears and your lack of self esteem in such circumstances that may tell you not to rock the boat. In my opinion you should always listen to your instincts and be brave. Worrying about a situation is always worse than confronting it and dealing with it. I was terrified of divorce, of being my own, but the reality was one hundred percent easier.

There’s a reason why people break someone’s trust; they may be weak, dishonest or self centered and in my experience these people will do the same again at a later date so it’s possibly best to cut your losses and move on. After my divorce I gave several relationships a second chance, wasted my time and lived to regret it. However I learned a lot and when I eventually, after eight years, met my now husband I had an inner gut feeling that at long last I had truly met a man I could trust in every way.

So give your partner plenty of rope and support but if they should hang themselves be brave, there’s a silver lining for everyone – someone decent is out there somewhere, you’ll just need patience and trust in your instincts.