Starting all over again

You’re older, wiser and possibly wealthier so theoretically life should be a lot easier, but whether through divorce, separation, bereavement or re-location you find yourself on your own and needing to build a new social life. Well don’t imagine you are too rusty to start the cogs spinning smoothly again: all you need is a plan of action to start that phone ringing.


  • Build your confidence
  • Get to know yourself
  • Change your attitudes
  • Get into shape
  • Throw yourself into life ASAP

Confidence building
A person’s appeal comes from an optimistic, youthful enquiring mind and a happy, carefree disposition. You deserve to be loved and treated well and you should never settle for anything less. List your plus points and you will be surprised how impressive it is. Always try to think and say positive things about yourself and others. Put on a brave face, look happy and act out a confident role. You will find in no time at all that your act soon becomes a reality. 

Getting to know yourself
You might have been so wrapped up in thinking about other people’s needs that you have forgotten your own. Learn to be your own person again – this is an exciting time for you – a voyage of re-discovery! Make a list of everything you have enjoyed – hobbies, activities, places. Then list everything you’d like to do.

Changing your attitudes
You can change yourself. Don’t be world weary and think I can’t go through all this again. You can! Life is an adventure to be embraced, setbacks and all. Have the courage to do or say what you like and don’t be afraid of what others may think of you. Love and respect yourself and others will mirror your opinion. Forget mental checklists about a dream mate and be more open minded.

Getting yourself into shape
It’s important to be healthy and to have a body that you feel comfortable with. Ideally exercise three times a week, eat fresh foods, reduce alcohol, stop smoking and get enough sleep. A new hairstyle or wardrobe will do wonders for your self-image and confidence.

Throw yourself into life ASAP
Now you’re ready to embark on a new social life, go to places where single people frequent. However, clubs, pubs and wine bars are usually frequented by people wanting a fun night out, not looking for a relationship. Most people participate in some leisure activity – physical or mental. The local leisure centre is a good place to meet other singles, and you will get trim, fit and healthy in the process. 

Men can meet plenty of women when they join aerobics classes and women can meet plenty of eligible men when they join shooting clubs!

Many sports and health clubs arrange activities for their members. Visit a Health Farm, which also provides social and sports activities as well as licking you into shape. 

Classes and Societies
Learning a new skill or language at an evening class is another way of meeting like-minded people. Societies, such as amateur dramatic societies, can be great sources of fun and to make new friends.

For hobbies enquire at your local library or look in the local paper. Men might do well joining a cooking class, and women – a car maintenance class. Dance classes are popular for all ages. 

People on holiday are much more at ease and open to suggestions than they might normally be. Ask your local travel agent or surf the internet for singles package holidays both at home and abroad.
Have a look at upcoming Dinner Dates trips: 

Consider enlisting the help of a Dating Agency or a Social Events Club provided they are well established and reputable. See Dinner Dates calendar of events at:

You could place a newspaper or magazine advert in personal columns using a box number. A word of warning though, no-one will have vetted your Date so always meet in a public place, make sure a friend knows your whereabouts and listen to your inner instincts.

There are many plus sides to starting all over again. You may well have been locked into an unhappy relationship but as a free agent you have a chance to find real happiness. Make your wish list – if you only achieve half of it you will be 100% better off than before.

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