My ex wants me back!

Dear Hillie

I was introduced to a brilliant man just over two years ago and it was love at first sight for me. We quickly moved in together and the relationship and friendship between us was fantastic, fun and exciting. Two months ago, quite out of the blue he informed me that he had kissed a female friend of his and he no longer loved me – in fact he had never loved me! Now he’s going through a rocky patch with his new relationship and wants to try again with me. Although I’m now in a ‘rebound relationship’ I still desperately love him and want to see him again, but I couldn’t bear to be hurt a second time. He says his feelings for me are genuine and that he made a big mistake in leaving me. Should I try again or would that just be stupid?

Hillie says:

Unfortunately when a man says he doesn’t love a woman, he usually means it! I would suspect that unless this man is very fickle and doesn’t know his own mind, he is hedging his bets by asking you to take him back because he realises his new relationship is on the way out and he doesn’t want to be on his own. Either way you could find it difficult to trust him again plus it never usually works to take a step backwards. You have survived two months without him; why not wait and see how you feel in two months time? If you both feel strongly enough about each other then, start dating again with a view to total commitment. You must never let anyone mess around with your emotions. If it works out for you, I shall be delighted to have had my doubts proved wrong.

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